People can usually deal with isolated stressful or traumatic events and experiences reasonably well, but when there is an accumulation of such events over an extended period, our normal coping strategies can be pushed to the limit.

The stress or trauma generated by a given event will vary from person to person depending on their background and how they deal with that particular stressor.  Some people are personally more or less vulnerable to particular stressful events, and some people may find certain events stressful which others would see as a positive experience. Furthermore, individuals deal with stress and trauma in different ways; the presence of multiple risk factors does not necessarily imply that a person will become suicidal.

Depending on a person's individual response, risk factors that may contribute to a person feeling suicidal include changes in their financial situation and loss of self esteem or personal expectations through job loss.

They are often so distressed that they are unable to see that they have other options: we can help prevent a tragedy by endeavoring to understand how they feel and helping them to look for better choices that they could make. Suicidal people often feel terribly isolated; because of their distress, they may not think of anyone they can turn to, furthering this isolation. In the vast majority of cases a suicide attempter would choose differently if they were not in great distress and were able to evaluate their options objectively.

I am always sad and sympathetic toward people who are so down and hopeless that they see taking their own life as the only choice  - it is a final solution to a temporary problem. A family friend died this way years ago so I am aware that "taking one's life" is the last resort.  They don't do it as an act of selfishness. They do it to end their mental/emotional agony. In their minds, they see no other way out.

Suicide has traditionally been a taboo topic in western society, which has led to further alienation and only made the problem worse. Even after their deaths, suicide victims have often been alienated by not being buried near other people in the cemetery, as though they had committed some utterly unforgivable sin - no one knows how difficult it is for someone who is between the line to choose to live or not to live.

In a society where there is much stigma and ignorance regarding mental illness, a person who feels suicidal may fear that other people will think they are "crazy" if they tell them how they feel, and so may be reluctant to reach out for help in a crisis. In any case, describing someone as "crazy", which has strong negative connotations, isn't helpful and is more likely to dissuade someone from seeking help which may be very beneficial, whether they have a diagnosable mental illness or not.  Every human being is taught from childhood that suicidal people are shameful, weak, selfish or manipulative.  None of these ideas are true.  No scientific study has ever confirmed that a significant proportion of suicidal people have these qualities.

Each of us is responsible for our own actions and life choices. In a sense then, an individual may have the right to do as they wish with their life, including to end it if they so desire. Western societies in particular tend to emphasize individual rights over communal rights and responsibilities.

People who are suffering from a mental illness such as bi-polar or clinical depression do have significantly higher suicide rates than average, although they are still in the minority For these people, having their illness correctly diagnosed can mean that an appropriate treatment can begin to address it.

Because a death through suicide is one of the most painful and complicated types of bereavement families can experience,  they are left asking many unanswerable questions. Families feel isolated within their own community as a result of the stigma attached to this type of death; individuals within families are also left isolated as the pain is felt too great to bear and permission to talk and share thoughts and feelings are not given.  The result is that they are powerless to mobilize the support they need to negotiate the path ahead.  For  adults and children it can take a long time to trust others again. You may find yourself plagued by thoughts of ‘what if’ and ‘if only’. On top of everything else, parents can fear for the future mental health of their children. The feelings and emotions can be more painful and seem to last longer than with other causes of death. One person described it as ‘grief with the volume turned up’.
 
Be kind to yourself and give yourself time.  It is hard to cope with any death, but the extra pain associated with a suicide probably means the healing and recovery will take longer.  Letting go and moving forward does not mean forgetting.

Everyone connected to the person who has died will have their own beliefs about ‘why’. But all they have is their part of the picture; the person who died is the only one who knew how all the pieces of ‘why’ added up to a situation they found intolerable.

Helen says: If someone you know tells you that they feel suicidal, above all, listen to them. Don't try to "rescue" them or to take their responsibilities on board yourself, or be a hero and try to handle the situation on your own. You can be the most help by referring them to someone equipped to offer them the help they need, while you continue to support them and remember that what happens is ultimately their responsibility. Get yourself some support too, as you try to get support for them; don't try to save the world on your own shoulders.